please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
