so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize