i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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