I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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