y did u give ur computer a hand job?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
