i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
