My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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