he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
