His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
