i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
my poor anus
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
