glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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