dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
