In the future we'll all be gay
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
