I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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