just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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