Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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