So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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