question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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