so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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