I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
