Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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