at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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