I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
