We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
