on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize