the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
