no, he came in my armpit
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
