She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
