I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I need a beard to bite.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
