I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize