after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
