sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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