Barsexuality is the new black.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
