in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She needs sedatives and a leash
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
