I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
