it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
