it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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