So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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