clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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