that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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