hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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