Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
