i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
