i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
