They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
birth control should be required to get into college
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
