tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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