My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
