Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
