Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
