she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
