That's intense
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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