wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
