He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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