Betty ford says i'm here all night
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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