Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
