Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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